A lot of women do not realize that they are dating a complete loser or married a man who will not commit responsibly. No, I'm not male bashing but I wish to share my bitter experience to all my blog readers. My ex-husband is a selfish and irresponsible man towards me, our marriage and particularly cruel towards our 5 months old baby. We have been separated for some time and I have zero intention to reconcile with him the day I packed my things and stormed out from his house. However, someone told me that I should contact him to sort out matters. With an empty heart, I gave him a call and we had a chat. During the 2.5 hours long conversation, I put on a mask and pretended for a reconciliation but my main intention was to test him out and see if he repents his past and current behavior. Frankly, I hate this man intensely and I pray that he rots six feet under. Before my child was born, he said numerous times that he wanted to forsake him whenever we had misunderstandings or arguments. After my pregnancy, he hardly took care of our baby's expenses. I always have to ask him for the monthly allowance, nanny's fees and I even paid 3/4 of my son's expenses. My son's nanny's fee is relatively reasonable because she only takes care of my baby, day and night seven days per week. I even paid half of the fees to ease his financial burden, yet he complaint I did not help him and the fees are too high. He won't even buy a pair of mitten and booties for our baby.
Last night's conversation was fabulous and he confirmed the followings: -
1) He will not pay for our baby's future medical fees
2) He will not pay his share of the nanny's fees
3) He will not provide me my monthly allowance
Reason for 1) to 3): Because I asked for it and I'm capable of handling all the above myself!
Yes, I'm capable of raising my child, but it doesn't mean that he could run away from his commitment.
4) I asked him numerous times to test if he cares for our baby or if he wants to see him but his answer was, "it doesn't matter if I don't see him, he is better with you, after all you were the one who said that if I don't do my responsibilities then I don't have to see him"
The conclusion: He rather not see his son again as long as he can escape from his responsibilities.
The most hilarious part was when I suggested a reconciliation to see his reactions, he set out these terms arrogantly: -
5) If I want to reconcile with him, I have to tolerate whatever he does as long as he feels it is right
6) There are many girls lining in Facebook waiting for him to confirm them as friends and he will not give up on anyone of them
7) I have to help him to do all the house chores even if he or his brother mess up the place.
Reason from 5) to 7) He wants to be in control, do whatever he likes, be a king and step right on my head!
I'm not trying to be calculative, but there is no sense for me to clean up his brother's mess. His brother is an extremely filthy person. He doesn't flush the toilet bowl, threw the cigratte ashes all over the place and my exhusband expects me to serve and clean up his insane act?!!!
He does whatever he likes, whenever he wants without considering my feelings. Where is love, respect and understanding?
He is obsessed with all his Facebook, especially the females. He would shout, yell and scold me for them. I had a big fight with him over his obsessions in Facebook while I was pregnant till I almost had a miscarriage. After which he told me this, "I don't want you anymore, I don't want the baby and I will not give up on Facebook. I need those girls in Facebook to give me business". This kind of man would die for other women and money.
8) Finally, he said I got MYSELF pregnant because I FORCED him not to use a condom! In conclusion, he said everything that happened today was because I forced him to treat me this way, I deserved to be treated like this and I asked for it!!!
I almost forgot to mention that he scolded me after my c section. Why? Simply because I had an infection and he needs to pay for my medical bill. I even helped him to pay a sum of the hospital fees but this is his reward to me. I ended last night's coversation with a peace of mind. I thought I would be very hurt but I'm so proud of myself because I didn't feel a pinch and I had the courage to share this with the world. I must admit I was a great pretender during the entire conversation. In order to test him out, I had to put up a show, fake some tears and be nice to trick him to reveal his true colours and thoughts. My son is better off without such a jerk as his father. This man is hopeless and in the future, I will tell my baby that his father is dead.
Dear all, I despise making up stories. It takes a lot of time and energy to create a story. I just feel I must share this nightmare of mine. I don't feel ashamed. If any women out there are facing the same situation as I'm, my advice is LEAVE the relationship or marriage. Do not let a man like this to continue hurting you and STOP hoping that he will change. If he doesn't appreciate you giving birth to his child, doesn't love his own flesh and blood, leaves all burden on your shoulders, you can be certain that nothing will change him. If he doesn't love you, love yourself more. If he cannot see the good in you, someday someone will. If he doesn't appreciate you, it is his lost! A man who doesn't know how to appreciate his family is doomed to failure in life. You have nothing to lose, in fact you have just gained back your dignity and desired life.
Be strong and good luck.
Last night's conversation was fabulous and he confirmed the followings: -
1) He will not pay for our baby's future medical fees
2) He will not pay his share of the nanny's fees
3) He will not provide me my monthly allowance
Reason for 1) to 3): Because I asked for it and I'm capable of handling all the above myself!
Yes, I'm capable of raising my child, but it doesn't mean that he could run away from his commitment.
4) I asked him numerous times to test if he cares for our baby or if he wants to see him but his answer was, "it doesn't matter if I don't see him, he is better with you, after all you were the one who said that if I don't do my responsibilities then I don't have to see him"
The conclusion: He rather not see his son again as long as he can escape from his responsibilities.
The most hilarious part was when I suggested a reconciliation to see his reactions, he set out these terms arrogantly: -
5) If I want to reconcile with him, I have to tolerate whatever he does as long as he feels it is right
6) There are many girls lining in Facebook waiting for him to confirm them as friends and he will not give up on anyone of them
7) I have to help him to do all the house chores even if he or his brother mess up the place.
Reason from 5) to 7) He wants to be in control, do whatever he likes, be a king and step right on my head!
I'm not trying to be calculative, but there is no sense for me to clean up his brother's mess. His brother is an extremely filthy person. He doesn't flush the toilet bowl, threw the cigratte ashes all over the place and my exhusband expects me to serve and clean up his insane act?!!!
He does whatever he likes, whenever he wants without considering my feelings. Where is love, respect and understanding?
He is obsessed with all his Facebook, especially the females. He would shout, yell and scold me for them. I had a big fight with him over his obsessions in Facebook while I was pregnant till I almost had a miscarriage. After which he told me this, "I don't want you anymore, I don't want the baby and I will not give up on Facebook. I need those girls in Facebook to give me business". This kind of man would die for other women and money.
8) Finally, he said I got MYSELF pregnant because I FORCED him not to use a condom! In conclusion, he said everything that happened today was because I forced him to treat me this way, I deserved to be treated like this and I asked for it!!!
I almost forgot to mention that he scolded me after my c section. Why? Simply because I had an infection and he needs to pay for my medical bill. I even helped him to pay a sum of the hospital fees but this is his reward to me. I ended last night's coversation with a peace of mind. I thought I would be very hurt but I'm so proud of myself because I didn't feel a pinch and I had the courage to share this with the world. I must admit I was a great pretender during the entire conversation. In order to test him out, I had to put up a show, fake some tears and be nice to trick him to reveal his true colours and thoughts. My son is better off without such a jerk as his father. This man is hopeless and in the future, I will tell my baby that his father is dead.
Dear all, I despise making up stories. It takes a lot of time and energy to create a story. I just feel I must share this nightmare of mine. I don't feel ashamed. If any women out there are facing the same situation as I'm, my advice is LEAVE the relationship or marriage. Do not let a man like this to continue hurting you and STOP hoping that he will change. If he doesn't appreciate you giving birth to his child, doesn't love his own flesh and blood, leaves all burden on your shoulders, you can be certain that nothing will change him. If he doesn't love you, love yourself more. If he cannot see the good in you, someday someone will. If he doesn't appreciate you, it is his lost! A man who doesn't know how to appreciate his family is doomed to failure in life. You have nothing to lose, in fact you have just gained back your dignity and desired life.
Be strong and good luck.
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